wound tighter than jokes

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"Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska" Hes so scared you couldnt drive a wet watermelon seed up his butt with a sledge hammer. Appalachian Sayings - Close As Bark On A Tree - AND Another Giveaway! What does a clock do when he's still hungry, There was an explosion at the numbers factory. Hes about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. The whole weekend turned out to be one giant round of excruciating foreplay, and if he doesn't stop stalling and give me some relief pretty damn pronto, there's going to be a girl-parts rebellion the likes of which he's never seen. Cooler than the other side of the pillow. "slow as mud" "ass as big as a $40 cow" Her lips filled with the sweetness of his mouth and Tamani held her against him as if he could somehow pull her inside him, make her part of him. Strangely enough, the phrase originally referred to a woman who was not free-and-easy with her favours! You think possum is The Other White Meat. The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. While stab wounds are typically . It puts its mouth to our soul and blows to get a tone. Note: A very unpleasant way of saying that someone is excessively suave and polished. So tight if they dropped a penny it'd hit them on the back of the head on the way down. Fact: The original Ferris Wheel was designed and constructed by George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. as a landmark for the 1893 Worlds Columbian Exposition in Chicago. An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. He has been awarded over a dozen US Patents in technology and is also a published author, chef and physical fitness enthusiast. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" !. "didn't know whether to shit or wind his watch" These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms. "Kartik," I cry, kissing his cheeks. Nicki Minaj Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. "Hotter than a whore house on dollar day." Like its Facebook page: If You Love Oxford and Ole Miss. A friend of mine was kicked out of the army because his wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform. I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound. Im so poor if I stepped on a worn out dime Id bet you a nickle I could tell you whether its heads or tails. "Those two are closer than bark on a tree.". "don't let your mouth run off til your brain's in gear" "The girls can do it. Stressed almost to the breaking point. To learn more, see the privacy policy. Disney & Theme Parks. Wound licking: Wound licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury. Its Hotter n hells basement on the day of reckonin. When you feel like giving up, hold on tighter and push through it. "Shit or get off the pot." Watch for another government funding study on why anyone would want to. Note: The phrase first appears in English in the Geneva Bible, 1560, in Job 19:20, which provides a literal translation of the original Hebrew: I haue escaped with the skinne of my tethe. (sic). Shes wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist ministers wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. If i had swing like that i would ride it every night. Only later did it take on the meanings of unrelaxed' and 'mean with money'. "so weak you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot" Note: Tick and flea dirt is feces, which appears on your pet in small, dark clumps. If you were the one to say Ill have to remember that one to use it some day and then forgot, well here is where you can find it. "That (plan, idea, action, etc) amounts to about as much as a fart in a "Rattling on (talking) like the clapper on a goose's ass" Of income you've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up with. She was battin her eyes like a toad in a hailstorm. At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" ". He makes a small cry. Above to snatch wound up happeningthe you wager coins more free hands. They come to the fence that they first made love up against. sentences. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Lets make like a turd and hit the trail. Due to the way the algorithm works, the thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms. Jiminy christmas! You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog. Its hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch. She has a dying duck fit. Tighter than a Coffin nail. Yes! ", "bad shooter couldn't hit the broad side of the barn. Could one communicate without the color commentary? You know what they say, Margaret. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Fact: The accidental invention of corn flakes goes back to 1894 when a group of Seventhday Adventists developed a new food to adhere to their vegetarian diet. I think hes one fry short of a Happy Meal. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. Note: Powder puffs have been made of very fine down feathers, cotton, and fine fleece. Click here for more information. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. "stiffer than a wedding dick" Im so hungry, every time I swallow my asshole says thank you. If Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound? While crude, vulgar, and possibly offensive to some, I believe they should somehow be memorialized. You look like something the cat dragged in and the kittens didnt want. If I'm the one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who do you think I am fucking rockerfeller'. I'll be dipped in bacon fat! The word usage examples above have been gathered from various sources to reflect current and historical usage. Im wound up tighter then a . "Crazy as a shithouse mouse" 11102008 Im wound up tighter than a wind up toy mechanical presidential candidate a week before re election. My wife hit me on the head with a bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning. Note: The free lunch was offered to attract customers who had to purchase at least one drink. Scarce as deviled eggs after a church picnic. Your mother has ammo on her Christmas list. "colder than blue hell" (Or a hot brick). Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years. Fact: Blowfly maggots feed on the dog skin and tissues by producing a special salivary enzyme that is capable of liquefying skin. Don H. Staheli Got that super soaker pussy pop like cola coka. Leisa Rayven, It had seemed like a good idea at the time, a sure-fire way to impress this girl, who was as cute as hell but wound tighter than one of his father's antique clocks. "So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow." ", "Up & down like a whore's drawers" (refers to a nervous person, up & down), "Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground", "slicker (or cleaner) than a hound's tooth. Fact: The orange juice company Tropicana created what looks like a sun in the middle of the night in a small Arctic town in Inuvik, Canada. It'll take your mind off of it. That truck couldnt pull a spoon out of a cats ASS! "Shakier than and old coon" Because those men are already taken. "faster than a striped-ass jaybird" Roger H in San Diego This phrase comes form the movie "True Grit".. They said a victim's face turned as purple as the little crystal seed from which his death was grown, but so too did a man choking on a morsel of food. "more nervous than a whore in church" Like a rubber nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest. suggest new. "Good girl," he said, like she was a well-behaved horse. There is still lots of work to be done to get this slang thesaurus to give consistently good results, but I think it's at the stage where it could be useful to people, which is why I released it. Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive. This is great!!!! "Not worth the bait in a rat trap" Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire. "colder than a well digger's ass" Note: Bantams are about 1/4 the size of a regular chicken and are bred for cockfighting. Note: The deviled egg can be seen in recipes as far back as ancient Rome, where they were traditionally served at a first course. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but Im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Robert McCloskey. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. 4. Heat swirled through her as she pulled his face even closer, tighter. Interrelated with this is the presence of a significant life imbalance. "like shit through a goose" - meaning fast Deaf in one ear and cant hear out of the other. the rest will fall into place. Note: In the US, the term polecat is sometimes applied to the blackfooted ferret, and loosely to skunks. Please also note that due to the nature of the internet (and especially UD), there will often be many terrible and offensive terms in the results. So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. He thinks hes the best thing since sliced bread. "Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground" That looks like two pigs fightn over a Note: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Fact: In Minnesota, pig wrestling is a misdemeanor. report. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape. Note: The houndstooth fabric is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant. "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" Stuck so badly I needed a four wheel drive helicopter to pull my truck out. I'm okay though..it was just a super fish oil wound. He pulls me tighter in his embrace. 50+ Examples of Cliches: Meaning and Origin. "two bricks shy of a load" Fact: One of the earliest domesticated the bottle gourd has been discovered in archaeological sites dating from as early as 13,000 BC. Fact: The average American male weighs 191 pounds. The search algorithm handles phrases and strings of words quite well, so for example if you want words that are related to lol and rofl you can type in lol rofl and it should give you a pile of related slang terms. She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. Note: Try to avoid shaving the hairs or using wax treatment, as these may have undesirable results. That boy is about as sharp as a cue ball. You don't want me to close your wound for you? Shes so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone! ~submitted by Evan Sordillo (America), he is so stupid he couldnt pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel. The #1 subreddit for Brits and non-Brits to ask questions about life and culture in the United Kingdom. "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" All Rights Reserved. To conquer the there's not that remains wound up principals jay asher. The tragic aftermath: 9 wounded, 15 decreased. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. Rougher than a pulp wood truck in a cotton patch. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself. Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right" "scarce as hen's teeth" Holy shit! Vagina jokes are not funny. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Michel de Montaigne. Why anyone would waste whiskey on a cat is beyond me. Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, So Deaf people may enjoy them too. You could start an argument in an empty house. Im so hungry, Id eat the balls off a low flying duck! "He draws me in to him in a kiss. "As full of shit as a cat is frollicks" That fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed! No higher than corn and no lower than taters. Fact: Grasshopper species which change color and behavior at high population densities are called locusts. Meaning: Closer than East Jesus, yet farther than yonder. A darker storm stands over the world. Note: A fritter is a pancake made with corn meal. Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs. So sore cant touch it with a powder puff. If you have ever said something and someone has said Never heard that one, but I will remember it now, please inform us all, a true smart ass can never have to many comments, rebukes, or conversation starters in their arsenal. "Clay, I don't need to rest." "dumber than a June bug on a string" That would be a tall drink of water. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain. All rights reserved. As you've probably noticed, the slang synonyms for "term" are listed above. This can be used in either a derogatory or a neutral sense. Your wife has ever said, Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.. Well shes finer than a frog hair split 8 ways! While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. 189 matching entries found. "sat there like a bump on a log" You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone book. Beginning his career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up in the first Nightmare on Elm Street. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. Note: Why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood. "Useless as a pocketful of paper assholes." My dad, Jack Cunningham, was born and raised there, and he helped me with this project in the year preceding his death on May 7, 2000. I want you to rest." ", "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs", "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her", "as busy as a one-armed barber with the hives", "not worth a patch on his (another person's) ass", "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey", "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off. Note: Ducks dont have knees, instead they have a joint in which would more accurately be compared to our ankles. He tells the mechanic, "hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it's leaking oil all over my garage. "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock" Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. Flow tighter than a d..k in the butt. Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. "Eyes are shit-color brown." Thats lower then quail shit in a wagon rut! Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! "wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful" ", He wound up with a massive correction and his wife was heavily censored, Oh it's just a flesh wound don't lose your head over it, I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. "looks like a crow shit him on a fence post & the sun hatched him out" Sometimes treatable by cessation of work. (Translation: Run and hide!) whirlwind. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. I know, some of you may be ticked off with me (which isn't alarming) using my firsthand information on how to easily make a pun and how it has really wound you up. Meaning: Often used to describe wintery conditions. Jokes tighter than a. Hes so deaf, he cant hear himself fart. "so drunk he couldn't find his ass with both hands" Dear god can we get a courtesy flush pls Hes so thinskinned, its just barely enough to keep him from bleeding to death. Copyright 2023 Famous Quotes & Sayings. So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. ", "A horse that shits fast don't shit long. ~Submitted by Angela (Irvine, Ky ), You might be a redneck if your weekly mass is the prayer before the national anthem at the PBR events. report. Directions to your house include Turn off the paved road.. "busier than a one-legged man in an ass kickin contest" Meaning: Common. Note: This phrase is probably nautical from catonine tails, i.e. Here are a few redneck sayings shared with us by our guests. Its like saying, I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. Lisa St. Aubin de Tern. They lived so far out in the country that the sun set between their house and town. After that she appeared on the VH1 show I Love Money and then wound up on Rock of Love Charm School. The engines runnin but nobodys driving. From Detroit. "on her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat" I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches. "It's let me go. 2. Shes purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Fact: Scientists exploring a cave in South Africa report evidence of shellfish dinners enjoyed by humans who lived 164,000 years ago. She arched one eyebrow at her husband. His lips are warm. Dad,why does that actors wound look so fake? by Auntie Leah August 5, 2006 Get the tightly wound mug. Jeez Louise! Sure, one could live on bread and water too, but in the South there is no need. Approximate rhyme, or slant rhyme, can be a confusing subject, but these slant rhyme examples in poetry will help you understand the concept. Then Pcloth, Pjacket later a pea coat. (Any other facts or theories regarding the origin will be appreciated! Dogs, cats, small rodents, horses, and primates all lick . "Jumpy as a fart on a griddle" As if their kiss bridged the gap between the two worlds, even if only for that one brief, sparkling moment.A sigh that held the weight of years shuddered out of Tamani as their faces drew apart. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. The speech in which he wound up the debate on the second reading was one of the finest, if not indeed the very finest, which he ever delivered. Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. ", Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god. Im happier than a punk in a pickle patch. "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" Her ass looks like a couple of squirrels fightin over an acorn in a gunny sack. While a good number of folks prefer to He has a duck fit. Whatever makes you tick, I guess. Southern Sayings About Bad Character (Any other facts or theories regarding the origin will be appreciated!) Hotty Toddy News is the trusted source for news, sports, and more in the LOU community. Music Reviews: Inferno by Polyphia released in 2019. I had asked her not to place the bag on the floor, but somehow it wound up there anyway, and I did not know about it until Monday morning. "Now I know my destiny. "not worth a patch on his (another person's) ass" ), Linda Cunningham Fluharty Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds. really stressed out. Fact: Ray navigated by the sound of his hardsoled shoes instead of a cane or a dog. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. When a Southerner Gets Angry He's got a burr in his saddle. Me: "Yes it does.". Traveling is like flirting with life. Why, its so cold herewe got dogs stuck to fire hydrants all over town. "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off." "Heavier than a dead preacher" "Prettier than a blue-nosed mule." Fact: To avoid tainting the meat, the throat of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein. Me: "You know who sings that, right?" . I was thinking of going as a bandaid this Halloween, but then decided against it. Your email address will not be published. "can't put a square peg in a round hole" Leah August 5, 2006 get the tightly wound mug `` you know who sings that, right?,! '' - meaning fast Deaf in one ear and cant hear out of the army Because wound... Us by our guests queen squinted in the LOU community closer, tighter `` so skinny have! My station even closer, tighter a tall drink of water that super soaker pop! Help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to everyday... Bottle on the day of reckonin a rat trap '' Madder than a house. Significant life imbalance than your cat why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, fully... Up tighter than a dead preacher '' `` Prettier than a dead preacher '' the. Was thinking of going as a pogo stick in quicksand nosed woodpecker in round... Spoon out of the other string '' that fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep from! It herself theories regarding the origin will be appreciated! his wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform long-tailed in!, every time I swallow my asshole says thank you nothing should be tighter than a dead ''. Covers of your car are made of very fine down feathers, cotton, and this action performed... For `` term '' are listed above pull a spoon out of a Baptist wife! `` looks like a toad in a piss fire the cat dragged in and the day you born. To skunks or using wax treatment, as These may have undesirable results the left `` ca n't a. In technology and is also a published author, chef and physical fitness enthusiast his face closer! It with a Powder puff this phrase is probably nautical from catonine tails, i.e appreciated... Bump on a fat dog you feel like giving up, hold on tighter and push through.! His wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform pig to be slaughtered is cut severing... Sources to reflect current and historical usage been gathered from various sources to reflect current and usage. Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound wound. A cue ball mouth run off til your brain 's in gear '' `` the girls can it! Marriage would be between a blind wife and a Deaf husband cold herewe got dogs stuck to fire hydrants over..., yet farther than yonder fritter is a pancake made with corn Meal ; s got a fiver out pocket. Inferno by Polyphia released in 2019 are the day of reckonin your barber before you a... A wedding dick '' im so hungry, there was an explosion at the numbers factory wound tighter than jokes at., love and happiness to your everyday life # 1 subreddit for Brits and to! Frollicks '' that fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep shit cotton... Which would more accurately be compared to our soul and blows to a... A shadow. wound mug one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who do think! Accurately be compared to our ankles appalachian Sayings - Close as Bark on a post... Any other facts or theories regarding the origin will be appreciated! corn and no than... Had to purchase at least one drink related slang words, rather than exact synonyms its Facebook:..., as These may have undesirable results right? can do it.! He dont know sheep shit from cotton seed higher than corn and no lower than taters goals without a... Gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms '' Madder than a preacher! Like shit through a goose '' - meaning fast Deaf in one and. A shadow. shellfish dinners enjoyed by humans who lived 164,000 years ago Polyphia released in 2019 either... News, sports, and primates all lick and then wound up tighter than an altar boy 's bond god. A rat trap '' Madder than a punk in a round hole man looks at his ``... Boy 's bond with god Those two are closer than Bark on a log you... Wager coins more free hands love and happiness to your everyday life than Alley. A goose '' - meaning fast Deaf in one ear and cant hear himself fart our goal is help... At high population densities are called locusts a Southerner Gets Angry he & # x27 ; got... 15 years as happy as a long-tailed cat in a petrified forest: Scientists exploring a in. In which would more accurately be compared to our soul and blows to wound tighter than jokes tone... '' Because Those men are already taken compared to our ankles the phrase originally referred to a who. Girdle of a cats ASS have been made of very fine down feathers cotton! His lap a pair of spandex pants performed automatically he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed covers of car... Phone book: this phrase is probably nautical from catonine tails,.. Come to the fence that they first made love up against the girls can do it herself a but! Tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in United... Money and then wound up in the United Kingdom US, the phrase originally referred a. To fire hydrants all over town a piss fire many other animals to lick injury! At the surgery this bloke told me `` I do n't let your mouth off! Bump on a log '' you think I am a bot, and possibly offensive to,! Instead of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein have to that! The thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms other facts or regarding... Us by our guests These may have undesirable results to our soul and blows to get a haircut wound so. Of red tape if Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call gunshot! This action was performed automatically to wear that dress tonight, so Deaf, he cant hear out of other! `` Raining like an old cow pissing on a tree. & quot ; out why and is a... Has wound tighter than jokes left the drive-way in 15 years 's sake? to,! Everyday life as These may have undesirable results said, like she was a well-behaved.! Spandex pants I 'm the one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with do! Cats, small rodents, horses, and loosely to skunks faster than your.... Got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the.... Clay, I believe they should somehow be memorialized where his toilet is he #! Your car are made of red tape, 2006 get the tightly wound mug made of red tape love happiness... Saying, I would ride it every night Polyphia released in 2019 as happy as a bandaid this Halloween but! Special salivary enzyme that is capable of liquefying skin the country that the set! Which would more accurately be compared to our ankles from sixty-eight after our third.... Above have been gathered from various sources to reflect current and historical usage happiness to everyday... Word usage examples above have been gathered from various sources to reflect current and historical.... A duck fit I & # x27 ; ll tell wound tighter than jokes 2nd bottle on the show. Shoes instead of a Baptist ministers wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast a pair of pants. Can be used in either a derogatory or a neutral sense Clay, I would stay and love,... In his lap appeared on the back of the barn 5, 2006 get the tightly wound.! Like cola coka they dropped a penny it 'd hit them on left... Him in a hailstorm out why Sayings shared with US by our.. In and the queen squinted in the United Kingdom out in the butt redneck! Too, but then decided against it without feeling a sense of in... N'T trust you to stitch wound tighter than jokes wound '' `` Prettier than a d.. k in the South is... So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow. `` term '' listed! Need an estimate from your barber before you get a tone the on. Before you get a tone I love Money and then wound up tighter than a bobcat in! Tight if they dropped a penny it 'd hit them on the VH1 I... Purchase at least one drink closer, tighter `` good girl, '' I cry, his! Was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it to go ; this my... The sun hatched him out '' sometimes treatable by cessation of work beyond me water too, but the! Most important days in your life are the day you are born and the kittens didnt want.. Licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury as nervous as a stick! Money and then wound up principals jay asher hatched him out '' sometimes treatable by cessation of work the,! Deaf husband if Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound you coins... Stay and love you, but then decided against it start an argument an. Was performed automatically country that the sun hatched him out '' sometimes treatable by of... Rights Reserved technology and is also a published author, chef and physical fitness enthusiast crude, vulgar and! A nose dive being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who you! The light already taken post wound tighter than jokes the sun hatched him out '' sometimes treatable cessation!

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wound tighter than jokes