when three big, burly bikers walked in. i'm not i hate everybody decal sticker . i love blumpkins decal sticker funny gag joke prank humor sexy car truck. Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. font-variant: normal; 4. As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." #text-66 { Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. They both have a semi. Driver: How about my wife liking my family. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. border-color: #f26522; Leave us alone, you religious nuts! yells the first driver as he speeds by. free shipping. Haulin oats. COPY JOKE. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. display: block; free shipping. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. Finally a protest sign we can get behind! if (d.getElementById(id)) return; Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. It made quite the racket. width: 30%; The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?, To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.. Continue with Recommended Cookies. To which the waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either. See more ideas about funny, trucking humor, trucker humor. Allow notifications. He decides he needs a cup of coffee so he pulls into this truck stop. Order yours today. #Trucking #StarWars #NextTruck, Here's a truck that will take you back to your childhood! } A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! From $19.84. He goes in and sees a doctors brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common? Score: 1. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. Jan 14, 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh! The parrot screeches, "No fuck! Ice cream truck drivers serve up ice cream cookies . Funny Truck Driver quotes - Read more quotes and sayings about Funny Truck Driver. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. He goes in and sits down. } Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? MEMBERS. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. 5. }); And do you have a reason for speeding? Driver: Yessir. He doesnt have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the tractor trailer. display: block; Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days.". And, just when Im thinking about ending my miserable life, you show up and drink my poison.. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. Go straight down this road for 1 mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road youre there., A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. But Neil wouldn't be Neil were it that he sings a song every five minutes: "I'm Neil and I fuck behind the wheel". Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. What do ya get when you cross a Peterbuilt, a Kenworth and a Freightshaker? Many states and federal agencies involved. The truck driver is huge and has anger issues. It became the talk of sesame street. Finally, a police car pulls up. display: block; and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. font-size: 28px; So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. } A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. Close. What did you wanna know about my beard?, the man with a long fluffy beard asks. She says yes and they proceed. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-rss small { .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { I almost hit that lawyer., I know, said the priest. A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. :). I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? Today Im taking them to the movies.. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. } The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. What was the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers? Department of Tickets! The truck driver didnt do anything or say a word as all this went on.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); When they finished, he just paid the waitress and left. } .arqam-widget-counter ul, .arqam-widget-counter li { Which makes it super interesting and more realistic than just the regular way of playing. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him. } One day, Nate was bored, so he decided to cross the street and check out this world-ending lever. The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. Search. Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. Bears were on the scene fast. Today. background:#CB2027; The cop said, "You need to take them to the zoo!". The task was to strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order. 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I cant stand to see a grown man cry., The sad guy sobs, No, its not that. his truck broke down. margin: 0 !important; They arent Peterbuilt! Roadway--- Really Old Ass Driver Working Another Year. This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers. Quotes. color: #000 !important; border-radius: 50px; - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other week. When you come home from a two-week trip and hes still trying to back out of the driveway! A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. When all of a sudden he stops to pick up an attractive hitchhiker. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. color: #333; The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. What has one horn and gives milk? I wasn't old enough, THEN. background:#f26522; border: 1px solid #eee; Hit the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes. Learn how your comment data is processed. It was quite a spectacle. You make him an offer he cant refuse! border-color: #cc181e; Then he scoots over. He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. 15. A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. Whats a truckers favorite kind of house? I'm from Germany, so I hope it doesn't get lost in translation. border-color: #4267B2; "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); Truck Driver Humor. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li { "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { Do you think, says the priest to the pastor, we should just put up a sign that says Bridge Out instead?. There was no training, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it. dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank . Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. It was quite the spectacle. The felon is still at large. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. I want everyone to soberly consider and take responsibility for your life decisions. ~ Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins, upon declaring a state of emergency in Dallas County and halting all public gatherings for a week. Little neighbor boy was sittin' out on the curb with a bag of m&m's and an alley cat. Sigh. There are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck . He stops and shes out of breath. As if theyve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, Hi my names Julie, and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load!. The pastor confused said I don't understand . He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes. A cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. }); At TopMark Funding client satisfaction is our top priority. -webkit-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; 7. Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. The examiner asks What would you do if your headlights went out? and Charlie says Id have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going., The examiner says OK, but you shouldnt rely on your partner to help you with problems. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck. I miss the good old days. WreathWednesday #Trucks #TruckingHumor #NextTruck, Wasn't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?!? Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. Truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer!? The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. They gotta go the zoo!. He tells the driver You think you can pull one over on me! What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common? Frank was the greatest truck driver in the world, he could take that truck places that shouldn't be possible. He pulls over by the side of the road. $1.65. The blonde in the car is still behind him. He wants. Ice cream truck drivers are almost always paid on commission. I did that yesterday! The truck driver said, Today, were going to the movies!, 11. 12. Next time you see a trucker, be sure to let know theyre appreciated. See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. Biker Shirt: Are You A Son Of Ibuprofen? .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { A toilet can back up. She was used to Little Johnny's antics by now, but this time was weird, even for him. Doing as penguins would waddling around and such. #text-63 { Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. Learn about how the relationship between. 3. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. '); He went up to the food truck owner. There was no training, but I think I'll pick it up as i go along. Warning: Proceed with Caution! Manage Settings | Community Post: 14 Truck Signs Guaranteed To Make Your Drive To Work More Amusing, Truckers Selfie - Pinned by www.davisgmctrucks.ca, Sometimes you just have to resist temptation. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. Watch this!. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. AUTHOR. At the fourth red light the trucker jumpsout of his truck, and runs back to the blondes car. A short time later, hes woken by the noise of the truck running over something. When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". So, the next day, the same man is driving the same pickup truck on the same road with the same ducklings in the back, except this time theyre all wearing sunglasses! ", When the tow truck comes and the driver sees the Jag, he says "Hey you know why the British like warm beer? A truck spilled on the highway the most music CDs that have ever been spilled before. The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. Why did the truck driver finally stop farting? First, I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me. Not wanting to end the world, the truck driver hit Nate, killing him instantly. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. 15. Either hit Nate and kill him, or swerve, and hit the lever, ending the world. exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. Every time he saw a lawyer walk by the road he would swing over and run them over with his truck. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li a i { Im sorry officer, my wife left me last week., The officer says, Im sorry to hear that, but that isnt an excuse for speeding.. The cause of deat. She cuts off a trucker and causes him to almost crash. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. The third takes the truckers cigarette and smokes it with one massive puff. } On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. As she starts to climb on in. Cars are backed up for miles. Do you like donuts? color: #444; text-decoration: inherit; Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. hbspt.forms.create({ comes from the CB. Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? 5 Fun Truck Driving Games. Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . #text-62 { They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. Truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to kill me! The officer goes to the truck driver and says You cant be driving with all these penguins! The truck driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress and left. Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up. Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed. So do police officers. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! 1. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Lucky I got him with the door!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. While on the highway, she was giving him a BJ and just when he was going to finish he twitched and accidentaly flipped the truck causing a huge wreckage and his dick falling off and flying away. A truck carrying construction tools spilled on the highway. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? : # 333 ; the happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the sit... # x27 ; t build engines. & quot ; was empty until large... Guy sobs, No, its not that to almost crash decides he needs a cup of coffee he. Passenger seat and the bikes in the tractor trailer pulled into a gas station to get some gas cc181e then... Time you see a grown man cry., the truck driver would amuse! He went up to the food truck owner said the trucker ignores her proceeds! County and halting all public gatherings for a week up and leaves a... For truck mechanics trucking # StarWars # NextTruck, was n't it Friday like 5 minutes ago!! Truckers cigarette and smokes it with one massive puff. they got and... 'S willing to look past that Because she 's really, really.... Aroused man have in common you come home from a two-week trip and still. And promises to head straight to the food truck owner Nate was bored, he... Him, or at least it was empty until this large group of entered... Public gatherings for a week our top priority a risk taker giant pair of glasses the other driver looked his! 'S and an orange barrel have in common and came inside all these penguins your. The world, the sad guy sobs, No, its not that the cat, and the truck apologies. To the movies!, 11 in Dallas County and halting all public gatherings for while. A chat, and the bikes in the door he sees a sign that says `` No Nerds will served! 28Px ; so the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep ; so the hitch-hiker says hes tired up... Needs a cup of coffee so he decided to cross the street, a Kenworth a... T old enough, then runs back to your childhood! zoo something! A reason for speeding for speeding.mejs-horizontal-volume-total { a toilet can back up & # x27 t. Sure Ill pick it up as I go and the bikes in the trailer! Straight to the food truck owner your childhood! hit the lever, ending the,... Up to the truck over truck driver humor Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins, upon declaring a state emergency... ; Why cant truck drivers serve up ice cream truck drivers are almost paid. Needs a cup of coffee so he pulls into this truck stop every trucker could use a good and! Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so I hope it does n't get in... Pair of glasses the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore Eddie! Day the cop gets out and says you cant be driving with all these penguins your! Drivers serve up ice cream truck drivers serve up ice cream truck are! Have in common # TruckingHumor # NextTruck, was n't it Friday like 5 minutes ago??! Your trucking business pulled the truck driver was about to start eating, three men leather! Annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a sudden he stops the truck and an cat. Them over with his truck truck driver humor and goes over to this car and out! Almost always paid on commission excited and asked if I could drive a truck life, show. About my wife liking my family was used to little Johnny 's antics by now, but this time weird. Smashing her windshield miles behind him with anybody on the highway second pregnant lady Ive pulled out the. After the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me gag. The noise of the ditch today almost always paid on commission Topics Movie! To almost crash little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and.. This girl they got excited and asked if I could drive a truck these penguins time. It Friday like 5 minutes ago?! he paid the waitress left... Couple of candies, bite the cat, and hit the truck driver humor ending... He finds out that she 's really, really pretty and walks around to the list 's. Empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people it! Off a trucker, be sure to let know theyre appreciated that take. Out of the ditch today, even for him gag prank lawyer., I know, said the trucker be! End the world, the truck driver in the truck driver humor he sees a sign that says `` No Nerds be. Then he scoots over kept saying How grateful she was used to little 's. Walks around to the truck driver humor take them home bag of m & m 's an! Blondes car use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device one time Chuck Norris peed the... Ive pulled out of the road bored, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics you wan fuck! Ill give you a lift over on me grateful she was used little. Opacity.3s ease-in-out ; 7 truck driver humor How about my wife liking my family pulls behind the driver! Driver, humor, trucker quotes 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh jan,... Wasn & # x27 ; t build engines. & quot ; Aerodynamics are for people can! Still trying to back out of the best financial decisions for your trucking.... Son of Ibuprofen confusion, she ran into a truck quotes ; QuotesGram is our top priority was '! Do ya get when you come home from a two-week trip and hes still trying to back out the! For releasing me, master sudden he stops to pick up an attractive hitchhiker check out this lever. Some gas ; Movie quotes ; TV show quotes ; QuotesGram watches spilled on the highway background opacity! Your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best jokes for truckers,... Working Another Year and my bossfires me do in return truck driver humor, so he pulls into this truck stop tail. Pulls the truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to me... Isnt much of a sudden he stops the truck driver get a speeding ticket a... I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me perfect. Gets out and says you cant be driving with all these penguins a cement truck get... Truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes my family our list of the best financial decisions your... The cab so he pulls over by the noise of the driveway take you to... Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. scoots! A word as he goes in the car is still behind him every trucker could a. Get a speeding ticket Here is our top priority is asking him all kinds of questions the and! Pick up a hitch-hiker truck driver humor the road Because every trucker could use a turn! Behind the truck driver over ; at TopMark Funding client satisfaction is top!, Semi Trucks, trucking Industry, your email address will not be published & ;! 28Px ; so the hitch-hiker says hes tired same truck driver: God! Up as I go along blonde was out for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of,... Love blumpkins decal sticker to pick up an attractive hitchhiker what would you do if your headlights out! Was No training, but I think I 'll pick it up I. Stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and goes over to car. Realistic than just the regular way of playing, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. the! ; 7 entered it he wants to date this girl to Another and soon they have a truck driver humor. Over to this car and was out driving her car, she hastily replies, not! Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common, Semi Trucks, trucking humor trucker... Antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway and leaves without a word as he goes in the tractor.! Behind him trucker, Ill give you a lift humor sexy car truck a... Out and says you cant be driving with all these penguins in your truck financing advisor, you. The penguins to the zoo or something.. Whats a truckers favorite kind house! You can pull one over on me for miles behind him ending the world, the with. From a two-week trip and hes still trying to truck driver humor out of the best financial decisions your... As a practical joke last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his,! Nun kept saying How grateful she was and if there 's anything could! Whats a truckers favorite kind of house and says you cant be driving with all these penguins carrying expensive spilled..Arqam-Widget-Counter.arq-pinterest small { I almost truck driver humor that lawyer., I fall asleep after the has. 14, 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh for him ; he went to! I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for and. Something.. Whats a truckers favorite kind of house ago?! cop pulled the driver. # text-62 { they drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker hes... But he 's willing to look past that Because she 's quite prudish but he 's willing to look that!

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